Tugs, tugs, tugs at the heart….over a long period of time. It’s almost as if He has been gently whispering into my ear, “Go for it–do it” for quite a while now. He kept at it, kept waiting. He’s patient like that you know. I did all of the typical balking, making of excuses, rationalizing, and over-thinking one could do and He didn’t stop with the leadings. Some might say He’s pesky that way. I’d have to say simply that He’s the man with the plan, and who am I to quibble with it–that is, after I yield my desired control for His.
If there had been an actual conversation about why me, why this ministry, it would have gone something like this–mostly questions; “Why me?” “What have I to offer?” “I’m not an ordained pastor, so shouldn’t it be someone else?” “How can I possibly do this if I don’t have a theological background?” “But what in the world would you want me to do with it?” There were more questions, but you get the drift.
Those tugs mentioned above, and the leadings that didn’t quit in spite of my mental protestations provided all of the answers. God’s still voice reminded me of twelve men many years ago who were quite a collection of misfits and miscreants, and yet they went on to bring Christianity to the world as we know it in amazing ways. They were disciples of Christ. If I really want to be honest with myself, I am one as well. Those twelve had their hearts to offer, and they did it. It’s no different with me. I have ministered to men, as led by the Holy Spirit, on numerous occasions over the years, brought souls to Christ, baptized men, and counseled men. All face to face, heart to heart. Why shouldn’t it be me? The eye opener was when He convinced me that formal education was not part of the gig with those twelve disciples (and many after them). Rather the ongoing willingness to learn, the already important experiences and life lessons from both sides of life (the dark and the light), the enlightened heart that wants to share the gospel, and the desire to be a modern day fisher of men are the prerequisites He’s looking for. He wants just ordinary working stiffs to relate with others in ways they can grasp to seek Him. Lastly, I was reminded that he brought me through decades of all kinds of stuff which is an indication that He’s not about to quit now. He’s persistent that way–remember, the Man with the plan. So the answer to what He would want me to do with it is simple (and simply) “Follow Me.” I can do that. Let the ride begin.