How very fitting that the image of clouds, grass growing on the hill caught my eye this morning while I was at the farm. I saw it right at the moment my mind had been wandering to some of the darker places that I don’t like to go to. I was feeling anxiety and concerns over an upcoming retreat I am coordinating. I was experiencing some sadness about a multitude of things that had popped into my mind moments earlier; my wife’s condition, some of my children (adults with families) who are not believers, the ugly situations that some of the men I am shepherding and mentoring are experiencing, and yes, the knowledge that at some point my own stamina will wane. I’m seventy eight in two months and though I feel fifty three, I know that the tank is running out, and will continue to do so, and with it could come a diminished ability to pursue my passion and purpose.
I had to look up toward the heavens to see those clouds, just as I had to look up the hill to see the gently swaying grass on the hill. And as I looked up I suddenly realized that I wasn’t looking high enough at that moment….that I had to look higher to what was above those clouds and hill to see reality. Looking beyond them, as beautiful as they were, I saw beauty I can’t even fathom. I saw the God behind it all, and I realized that all that I had been anxious and concerned about was beyond my control….something I seem far too often to desire to maintain.
You see, I was reminded. God. Has. Got. All. Of. This. It was like He shoved that view right into my face as a wake-up call. Instantly, I could hear his small still voice cooing into my ear in very soothing tones, “Joe, I’m here. Just as the sun is hidden by the clouds, the light from it is never gone. Just as you are presently seeing things from a darker perspective, the light, Me, is still here. I will never be gone. I have covered you with my love, and I have this son.”
Yes, God is so much bigger than me, so much bigger than my need for control, so much greater than all of my needs. He is higher than me, and I am so grateful that He used nature, once again, to remind me of that today. My day was radically changed because of a few clouds and some beautiful grass on a hill.